Cartoon Cottage

Yellow Jackets Moved Into Our Home

2005-10-11T06:50:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I posted anything on here. About a month ago we had some uninvited guests move into our home. Well, into our attic anyways and they chewed their way through our ceiling tiles into our living area.
Interesting enough they seem to be immune to the sprays meant to kill them off. I spend my days with my handy dandy fly swatter by my side at all times. I have been stung 5 times since they moved in with us. 4 of those times were because I was walking barefoot in the morning and stepped on them. (I dont go barefoot anymore). The 5th was out of nowhere when one dive bombed me and stung me right above my temple. It put me down for a few days.
They are attracted to light, so I don't use the computer much. They fly right towards the monitor. We were told they should have died off by now with fall here and winter on it's way. They must not have gotten that memo! lol
A couple friends of mine were teasing me because last weekend I bought a couple decorations with bees on them to add to my collection. They said that's why they came here, they feel at home with all my bee decor. I can say from experience that a honey bee sting is like pricking myself with a needle compared to the sting of a yellow jacket.
I went garage saling last weekend and the lady having the sale said she waited to have the sale until after the bees were gone this year, I laughed and told her they weren't gone they were all at my house. She thanked me!

New Joke Animation Pizza Sale

2005-09-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

Brand New Just Released Sept. 13, 2005

We were considering ordering a pizza a few days ago and asked
how much delivery would be, and the person taking the order stated
they were only delivering within a limited area due to the gas prices.
I figured it must be pretty high if they wouldn't even give me an estimate.
That was inspiration for me to create this funny little animation.

Joke - Funny Horoscope

2005-09-12T19:26:00.000-05:00

VIRGO
(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23)

Money is tight this month due to the prices you’ve had to pay for gasoline. Instead of the trip you have planned for all year you’ll be taking a cruise on the internet surfing to the places you had planned on visiting. Be sure to grab your digital camera and take pictures so you can put them in your scrapbook.

Fast Foods: coney dogs, bratwurst, pita pockets

LIBRA

(Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)

It’s time to think ahead for the upcoming holidays. It won’t be long before you have little people knocking on your door wanting candy. If you start early you can be stocked up for the trick or treaters and still be able to pay your light bill. Load as many of your kids and the neighborhood kids in your car that will fit. When you go to the bank to cash your check the teller should give you enough candy for all the kids. Be discrete and don’t let the kids see the candy. Do this weekly and you should be able to answer your door on Halloween.

Fast Foods: bbq chicken, jalapeno poppers, shrimp

SCORPIO

(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

This is a good month to make new friendships and get those little things around the home done that just weren’t top priority. You’ve been feeling sluggish and feeling alone. Be creative and make some invitations up for a housecleaning party! Carry them on you and be sure to hand them out to new people that you meet. They should be thrilled to come, after all you aren’t asking them to spend any money!

Fast Foods: nachos, potato soup, fish sticks

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21)

You are anxious to get a jump on the season and have all that pent up energy just waiting to burn off. If you must, climb a few trees and snip the leaves off so you can rake them up. It’s best not to go up there and shake them off, the neighbors may mistake that as an anger management problem.

Fast Foods: beef manhattans, corn dogs, chicken nuggets

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22.- Jan. 20)

This can be a confusing month for you and you’ll tend to be forgetful. Stay ahead of the game and make notes where you are sure to see them. Recent studies have shown that women who write their notes down on fresh toilet paper rolls are less likely to be labeled as nagging. They are just considered anal.

Fast Foods: cheese pizza, chef salad, sushi

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)

Life will be so sweet for you this month you will need to avoid the rain to keep from melting. You will be coming into an undisclosed amount of money, all those rebate forms you forgot you mailed out will finally pay off! Now you can afford that trip to the library.

Fast Foods: spaghetti, fried clams, buffalo wings

PISCES

(Feb. 20-Mar. 20)

Romance is in your future. Unbeknownst to you your best friend has submitted an online singles ad for you and posted the picture of you from last years New Years Eve party. You should be getting emails very soon!

Fast Food: grilled chicken, taco salad, lobster

ARIES

(Mar. 21- April 20)

Hidden treasures can be found around your home this month if you get around to doing
your laundry and cleaning out those pants pockets! You’ve been feeling left out lately and need some extra attention. Try skipping through the store when you go get groceries and maybe sing one of your favorite commercial jingles for each item you toss in the cart.

Fast Foods: tacos, hot dogs, French fries

TAURUS

(Apr. 21- may 21)

Hold on to your britches this month is going to be a wild ride. Do your part in the recycling to keep the landfills from filling up. Be sure to save all the labels and boxes from the foods you prepare for dinner. Take them to work to decorate your office or cubicle. Don’t be surprised if you get a special visit from your boss this month.

Fast Foods: cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, onion rings

GEMINI

(May 22-June 21)

This is a good month to bond with your kids. At night while they are sleeping gather up all of their shoes and hide them in the shower (they’ll never look there). When they come to you in the morning looking for them, don’t panic, you haven’t forgotten one of your children, that is the neighbor’s kid.

Fast Foods: soup, fish filet, walnut salad

CANCER

(June 22-July 22)

Consider taking a break from it all this month. Set an appointment up for a tour of your local looney bin. Friends and family won’t be tempted to bother you there or ask to come along. They have special activities, three cooked meals a day, and the best part is you don’t have to have cash up front when you make the reservation.

Fast Foods: mystery meat, pudding, jello

LEO

(July 23-Aug 22)

Your home has become the gathering spot for friends, family, neighbors, and even a few stragglers you don’t recognize. It can be overwhelming if you don’t put a stop to it. You are a caring person with a big heart and don’t want to hurt the feelings of others. Take a drive to your local market, purchase a few dozen eggs and head back home. Discreetly check to make sure everyone knows you have arrived back home. Start pummeling your car with the eggs laughing hysterically. Your guests will start sneaking away one by one and most likely you won’t hear from them again for weeks.

Fast Foods: spicy burritos, ribs, pizza

Disclaimer Warning: Do not attempt any of the above mentioned stunts. They could be dangerous and have adverse effects. If you have food allergies it is not recommended to eat the fast foods that are listed. If you are prone to gaining weight it is not recommended to eat the fast foods that are listed. For entertainment purposes only. This is a joke and only intended to create laughter. Repeat: This is only a joke.

Male Infidelity - Signs That She Is On To You

2005-09-11T16:07:00.000-05:00

1. Your food starts tasting like laxatives.

2. Your underwear has been dusted with itching powder.

3. All of your mail has been forwarded to Nigeria.

4. The stuffing in your pillow has been replaced with stale potato chips.

5. Your best pair of shoes have been filled with Vaseline.

6. The ringtone on your cell phone now plays taps.

7. You try to get up from the toilet only to realize you are now at one with it.

8. The money that was in your wallet has been replaced with play money.

9. You are the topic at Sunday’s Sermon.

10. The neighbor man is mowing his lawn with your prize garden tractor.

11. You arrive early at your secret meeting place only to find your mother-in-law there waiting for you.

12. Your lover can’t meet you because she is too tired. She’s been cleaning your house, running your errands, and last but not least your wife has her cooking your supper and babysitting your kids.

Click Here For More Jokes

Funny Excuse Slips

2005-09-09T19:20:00.000-05:00

I was sitting around with my oldest daughter one day and we started coming up with some really lame excuses why we hadn't gotten the things done we should have. With that said I created some really lame excuse slips and posted them to the site so others could use them if they wished to. I created them so that they print out at the ideal size! I tried this one out on my hubby and checked paying bills due to no instructions....he just shook his head and laughed. It got me out of doing bills for another day!

I ended up with about 6 different excuse slips for all occasions. If you are running out of excuses check them out, you just might find one that you could use!

http://www.cartooncottage.com

New Halloween Animations

2005-09-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

I have recently updated my Halloween animations. My daughter is a frog lover and avid collector so I added a couple frogs that are dressed up for trick or treating too. One is dressed in a witch costume and the other is dressed up as a pumpkin.